Leave Me Adrone!
Everybody has a reasonable expectation of privacy in their own homes. |
I was slow to react, partly because I was still waking up, and partly because my first instinct when confronted with a camera is to say something pithy. I can’t help it. I’ve been saying pithy things to cameras for the last thirty years, and old habits die hard. Well this morning, I had no words for the outrage I felt at such an intrusion. I was incensed, and as Freddy egged me on with a chorus of snarls and barks, I moved onto my second instinct - an irresistible urge to blow the contraption out of the sky.
Everybody has a reasonable expectation of privacy in their own homes. |
I pumped a shell into the chamber, enjoying the “crunch-crunch” sound that makes shotguns worth owning. I had a clear shot - nothing but blue sky above - and more than enough umbrage to justify the destruction I was about to unleash. But then, as I was literally squeezing the trigger, I saw the camera tilt down. It was pointed directly at me, and in that moment - I froze.
I’d like to tell you I stopped because I realized that discharging my weapon in such a fashion would be frowned on by the local constabulary. But really, what stopped me was the realization that somewhere nearby, a drone operator was staring at his monitor, pondering the image of a very naked guy with a very familiar face, pointing a shotgun into the lens of his Go Pro and looking every bit as crazy as Gary Busey and Nick Nolte at the nadir of their careers. I froze, because I could see the video that might very well appear on the local news, (with considerable blurring, naturally.) The same video that might soon appear on my mother’s computer screen, along with the headline - “Dirty Jobs Guy Totally Loses It - Gets Naked and Shoots Drone From San Francisco Skies.”
When the moment passed I put the shotgun down and reached for my phone instead, just as the wicked contrivance bugged out for the Wild Blue Yonder. The attached photo is all I have in the way of proof, and I hope to God that’s all the proof you’ll ever see. Because honestly, I have no idea who is in possession of the footage I’ve just described. Nor do I have any idea if it will appear in your news feeds later this week. I sincerely hope not, but I know it’s out there, and there isn’t much I can do about it but make sure - if the unthinkable occurs - that you can all say you heard it here first…
Mike
Editor's Note: Although public figures surrender some privacy for fame, even they deserve privacy in their homes. The real issue is the loss of privacy from government who can use the same technology to monitor us.
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