How the Marinwood CSD can Promote Civility and Improve the Quality of Life

Dick Spotswood: McCain’s comment sets example for civic discourse

Dick Spotswood: McCain’s comment sets example for civic discourse

By DICK SPOTSWOOD | spotswood@comcast.net |
September 8, 2018 at 10:00 am


At an August 2016 campaign rally in York, Pennsylvania, a woman supporter of Republican presidential candidate John McCain stood up and said, “I can’t trust Obama, I read about him, and he’s not, he’s not – he’s an Arab.” McCain’s reply not only showed his personal character but provides a teaching moment for all who hold or seek public office.

McCain instantly replied, “No, ma’am. He’s a decent family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues, and that’s what this campaigning is all about. … He is a decent person and a person you do not have to be scared of as president. … I admire Sen. Obama and his accomplishments, I will respect him. I want everyone to be respectful, and let’s make sure we are because that’s the way politics should be conducted in America.”

The Arizonan’s gentle rebuke worked, because the woman and McCain were both on the same side of the political divide. It wouldn’t have been so powerful and memorable if one of them was deep red and the other blue. When the admonition comes from your ally, it’s far more difficult to ignore.

I’ve seen the same approach here in Marin at city council meetings, community gatherings and political events. Unfortunately, that level of wisdom isn’t universal, even here in supposedly sophisticated Marin.

Traditionally, some Marin city councils have followed an unwritten rule. If an audience member went over the line and verbally attacked another with whom they strongly disagreed, it was time for a council member to take action. It was understood in those thankfully rare situations, it was the council member most identified with the out-of-control audience member’s policy position that needed to immediately act to get the proceeding back on track.  See full article HERE

Trash Talking Punks on NextDoor- Why discuss issues when you can attack your Neighbor?

Trash talk is entertainment for some people

I got censored from NextDoor  a few weeks ago for calling a guy an "insufferable boar".  Those who followed the "leash law" story know why.  After literally 30 posts in 48 hours attacking me, I responded by calling this guy an "insufferable boar".  Now I admit,  I finally lost my temper.  How many times do I have to listen to a guy rant about my character, accuse me of lying,  wanting to hurt elderly people and small children before I react?  It was thirty times for me.    

He didn't give up after I stopped posting on Nextdoor. He emailed me privately, trash talked me on public forums and this website and even now to this day he trash talks me on Nextdoor in full knowledge that I cannot respond.  

It is called abusive ad hominem.

Abusive ad hominem usually involves attacking the traits of an opponent as a means to invalidate their argument(s). Equating someone's character with the soundness of their argument is a logical fallacy.

Challenging IDEAS and DECISIONS is not the same as attacking someone's character. Some thin skinned people don't understand that it is perfectly okay to "agree to disagree" and set aside differences after discussing ideas thoroughly.  For some, it is too much for their frail egos to bear. This is why I am just as happy not to engage some folks.

I welcome your ideas here and especially a full discussion of issues using the "treat others like you want to be treated" standard of discourse. I particularly want to hear from you if you think I have been unfair to anyone and why.  

Everyone play nice in the sandbox please.  We are neighbors.